100+ Funny Golf Jokes for A Good Time

• Quick Hitter Funny Golf Jokes
• Golfer Stereotype Funny Golf Jokes
• Wife Spouse Funny Golf Jokes
• Puns Groaners Funny Golf Jokes
• Situational Rules Funny Golf Jokes
• Pro Tips for Delivering the Perfect Funny Golf Jokes
• Conclusion​
• FAQs

Just nailed a perfect drive? Or maybe your ball found the sand trap (again)? Either way, golf is a game full of frustration, but just as much fun. We know sometimes you need a laugh to smooth over the pain of that double bogey. So, we've compiled over 100 funny golf jokes guaranteed to get your foursome laughing on your next round, at the 19th hole bar, or while waiting on the tee box. Ready to improve your golf humor? Let's get started!

Quick Hitter Funny Golf Jokes

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Need a laugh in a split second? This section features the best "short and sweet" golf one-liners that get straight to the punchline. Perfectly sized for a quick laugh between holes or as a witty caption for your next social media post, these quick hitters are guaranteed to keep the mood light on the fairway.

1. Golf: A way of turning 5 hours of walking into 4 hours of anger.
2. I’m playing the best golf of my life. I just don't know whose life it is.
3. My caddy asked me, "Are you left-handed or right-handed?" I said, "Ambidextrous. I can hit it bad with both hands."
4. Why do golfers bring two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole-in-one.
5. I've perfected my golf game. I hit the ball into the hole every time. It just takes me 18 tries.
6. If you want to know how bad your golf game is, ask your caddy. If you don't have a caddy, you're that bad.
7. The hardest shot in golf? The one right after you hit a perfect shot.
8. My swing is smooth like water. A waterfall.
9. My balls always find the sand traps perfectly. I guess you could say I have great accuracy.
10. Someone told me golf was relaxing. They must not have seen me play.
11. I made an eagle today—when I hit my ball into an eagle's nest.
12. I shot a 95 yesterday, a 94 today. Tomorrow I'm going for 93... then I'm selling my clubs.
13. My only hole-in-one was with a wedge at the driving range.
14. Golf is the most honest game. It shows you exactly what kind of person you are.
15. "Which is your favorite course?" "The one in my rearview mirror."
16. The best way to improve your golf game? Buy a bigger putter.
17. I spend most of my time on the golf course deciding which club to use to hit the ball into the trees.
18. My golf game is 90% mental... and the other 10% is physical (bad physical).
19. What do you call a golfer’s ex-wife? A divot.
20. The only thing I can drive well is my golf cart.
21. My putting is better than my driving. I hit fewer people.
22. Wife just bought new clubs, said: "Now I'll beat you!" Husband said, "Sounds reasonable... my wife said, 'I'm leaving you.'"
23. Why did the chicken cross the golf course? It was the only way to get to the other fairway.
24. What do you call a golf ball that can’t stop bouncing? A jump ball.
25. My swing is like a broken clock. Right twice a day.
26. What’s a golfer’s favorite kind of music? Swing.
27. The only thing worse than a bad round of golf is a good round of golf where you forget to count every stroke.
28. My score is always above par, but my spirits usually are too (after the 19th hole).
29. My goal is simple: Hit the ball as far as possible, as often as possible. Results may vary.
30. The best lie in golf? "That was a practice swing."

Golfer Stereotype Funny Golf Jokes

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We all know "that guy" on the course—the one who spends more time in the woods than on the green or the gearhead with a new driver every week. Here, we dive into the hilarious archetypes of the golfing world. From the eternal slicer to the over-confident amateur, these jokes poke fun at the relatable personalities that make the game of golf so colorful.

1. Two kinds of golfers: those who always find excuses, and those who never do (because they already suck).
2. A: How does that guy play golf? B: He plays so slowly the grass grows under his feet.
3. Instructor: "Your problem is you're standing too close to the ball." Student: "No way!" Instructor: "Yep. Right after you hit it."
4. A golfer was looking for his lost ball. Another guy walks up and says, "Need help?" He replies, "No thanks, I'm perfectly capable of messing this up myself."
5. The biggest cheater in golf: A guy who never brings an eraser but always turns in a great score.
6. The guy who always says, "That's the worst shot I've ever hit," usually follows it up with a worse one.
7. Never trust a golfer who smiles and says, "Golf is fun." They are lying, or they just made a hole-in-one.
8. Some guys play golf to see how far they can hit the ball. I play golf to see how many balls I can lose.
9. The worst playing partner? The one who claims he doesn't need a stroke counter but remembers every detail of his 112 score.
10. I told my friend I made a bogey. He said, "You're lying, you never shoot that well."
11. I know he’s new to golf because he didn’t complain about anything on the way home.
12. My biggest strength in golf is my patience. I'm willing to spend the entire day finishing 18 holes.
13. My best golf buddy? My caddy. Because only he sees all my terrible shots but never laughs (because I pay him).
14. The guy who takes three practice swings and then whiffs the ball on the actual swing.
15. The golfer who complains about the conditions of the course as if they were a pro.
16. The one friend who claims he “threw” a 78 when you know he carded an 88 last week.
17. The guy who spends 10 minutes looking for his $1 ball.
18. The perpetual optimist: "That kick off the tree trunk might actually land me on the green!"
19. The guy who blames his clubs for every bad shot.
20. The golfer who talks constantly during the backswing.
21. What do you say to a bad golfer? "Nice try."
22. My golf game is so bad that I’m getting applause when I hit it straight.
23. My caddy said, "Watch out for the water hazard!" I said, "What water hazard?" He said, "That one, right where the ball is landing."
24. My doctor told me I can't play golf anymore because I have a bad back. I told him he should see the doctor with the bad putter.
25. How do you find a lost golfer on the course? Check the 19th hole.

Wife Spouse Funny Golf Jokes

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The struggle of balancing a marriage with a golf addiction is a goldmine for comedy. This collection highlights the classic "he said, she said" humor of the golfing household—from creative excuses for late tee times to the art of hiding new club receipts. These jokes are a hit at the 19th hole and are relatable to anyone who has ever chosen a Sunday round over Sunday brunch.

1. Husband: "I'm playing golf today, can't go shopping with you." Wife: "That's fine, I'll go buy that $2000 purse myself." Husband: "Ugh... I'm feeling better, let's go shopping."
2. Wife: "Are you cheating on me when you go golfing? You look too happy!" Husband: "Honey, don't you know I can never be happy on a golf course?"
3. Husband comes home, wife asks, "How was your game?" Husband: "Terrible. I almost drowned in a water hazard." Wife: "At least you learned how to swim."
4. Husband to wife: "Honey, I love you more than golf." Wife: "Then why did you play yesterday?" Husband: "Because I love you more than golf, but less than sunshine."
5. Wife: "Why do you go to a golf course? There's nothing there but water and sand." Husband: "Isn't that your favorite beach resort?"
6. Wife: "You spend so much time practicing, why are you still so bad?" Husband: "Honey, you spend so much time cooking, why is it still so bad?"
7. My wife told me, "It's me or golf." I really miss her.
8. My wife said I buy too many clubs. I told her, "You buy more shoes!" She said, "True, but at least two of my shoes are identical."
9. Wife to husband: "If you put half the effort you put into golf into our marriage, we'd be perfect." Husband: "If I put half the love I have for you into golf, my handicap would be perfect."
10. Husband: "I'm going golfing." Wife: "You know the sink is still leaking?" Husband: "I can't fix that any better than you can."
11. Wife: "You're always focused on that little white ball." Husband: "At least I know where that one is going."
12. I tried to teach my wife how to play golf. Now she wants a divorce and my credit cards.
13. Marriage is like golf. You hit it off the tee, then you spend the rest of the time in the rough trying to find your way to the hole.
14. My wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said a round of golf. She booked me an hour at the driving range.
15. Golfer's prayer: "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the water hazard."

Puns Groaners Funny Golf Jokes

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Get ready to roll your eyes and chuckle at the same time! This section is dedicated to clever golf puns and "dad joke" style humor. By playing with terms like Tee, Fore, Birdie, and Par, we’ve curated a list of wordplay that is so bad, it’s actually good. Perfect for breaking the ice during a slow round.

1. Why do golfers like going to bars? The 19th hole.
2. I showed great restraint on the course today. I didn't break a single club.
3. Golf is a game where you put a tiny ball into a tiny hole, but the hole seems to hate you.
4. My game is "handicap." Yep, handicapped.
5. I think my biggest golf talent is hitting the ball where nobody can find it.
6. My golf strategy: Not necessarily hitting it straight, but yelling "Fore!" loudly.
7. Golf is the only sport where you can swear and enjoy the sunshine at the same time.
8. A: "Is golf hard?" B: "No, as long as you don't try to use the club to hit the ball."
9. That hole must have a magnet; my ball always gets pulled right to it (in the wrong direction).
10. What's the difference between golf and a tax audit? You can cheat at golf.
11. My best shot is a "bounce pass"—across the water hazard.
12. My only hole-in-one was with the lawnmower on my front lawn.
13. My handicap is 28. My goal is to make it better... like 27.
14. A friend always complains he can't make good shots. I told him, "Maybe you should try looking for the ball you hit."
15. Why can't golfers tell lies? Because they always hit the truth into the bunker.
16. I heard a joke about a sand trap, but it was too coarse.
17. What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver? A bad golfer gets another chance.
18. My swing is like a broken clock. Right twice a day.
19. Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? To get to the high "scores"!
20. What do you call a golf ball that can’t stop bouncing? A jump ball.

Situational Rules Funny Golf Jokes

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When the strict rules of golf meet the absurdity of real-life situations, comedy ensues. This section features narrative-style jokes involving tricky hazards, divine interventions on the green, and the "creative" accounting used on scorecards. These situational stories capture the frustration and joy of the game in a way every golfer will recognize.

1. Golfer: "I've never seen such a terrible caddy!" Caddy: "I've never seen anyone play like this either!"
2. Golfer: "Should I use a 5 iron or a 4 wood?" Caddy: "I think you should use a shovel."
3. Golfer hits the ball into the water, angry, "Go get that ball!" Caddy: "Okay sir, which one? There are at least five hundred down here."
4. Definition of a bunker: A natural hazard made of sand, specifically designed to collect my golf balls.
5. A: "My ball is stuck in the tree!" B: "Don't worry, that's a safe zone."
6. The Rules of Golf book: Thicker than the Bible, but nobody follows it.
7. That caddy must be a genius; every time I ask for advice, he gives me a completely wrong suggestion.
8. My biggest challenge on the golf course isn't the wind or green speed, it's staying angry for only 18 holes.
9. Golfer: "I think my ball went in that hole." Caddy: "Impossible, that hole is a water hazard."
10. A: "Golf requires a lot of concentration." B: "Exactly, you have to constantly focus on not hitting the cars in the next lot."
11. Why are there so many doctors who play golf? Only they understand what a "hazard" is.
12. My best save in golf? The time I decided not to play that round.
13. There are three hazards on a golf course: water, sand, and me.
14. Golfer: "Do you think I can sink this putt?" Caddy: "I believe you can, just like I believe I can fly."
15. Instructor: "The secret to golf is relaxing." Student: "So I can drink a beer during my swing?" Instructor: "No, I mean your club needs to relax."
16. Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to play golf." Caddy: "Good, start with the 18th green."
17. Why was the golfer upset at the bakery? He got a bogey (bagel).
18. Golfer: "Look at that beautiful shot! It's going right for the pin!" Caddy: "Yes sir, but the pin is behind us."

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Pro Tips for Delivering the Perfect Funny Golf Jokes

• Avoid the Backswing: Never, ever drop a punchline while someone is over the ball. Wait until you’re walking to the next tee box or sitting in the cart.
• Know Your Audience: Some golf buddies love a good roast, while others might still be mourning that lost ball. Read the room (or the green) before you start teasing.
• The 19th Hole is Prime Time: The best place for the longer, more detailed, funny golf jokes is at the clubhouse over a cold drink. It’s where the pressure is off, and the laughs are loudest.

Conclusion

Hope these funny golf jokes put a smile on your face! The sport can be frustrating sometimes, but laughter is definitely part of the experience. No matter your skill level, humor is always the best remedy. Next time your ball finds the trees, maybe think of one of these jokes and keep the good times rolling. What's your favorite joke? Or do you have a classic we missed?
Share your thoughts in the comments section below! Let's keep the conversation going at the 19th hole. Don't forget to share this article with your golf buddies!

FAQs

Why do golfers carry a second pair of pants in their bag?

It’s an all-time classic! The joke is that they bring golf pants just in case they get a "hole in one." While hitting an ace won't actually rip your trousers, in the world of golf puns, it’s always better to be prepared for the excitement (and the potential wardrobe malfunction) of the greatest shot in the game.

What is the similarity between a golf ball and a carton of eggs?

It’s a relatable struggle for every weekend warrior. Both are bright white, both are sold by the dozen, and let’s be honest—both are probably going to be gone or "cracked" by next week. Whether you’re hitting into the water or the deep rough, you’ll likely be buying a fresh dozen sooner than you’d like!

How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but you have to wait for them to shout "Fore!" first. In golf, safety and etiquette are everything, which means giving a fair warning before anything falls toward the green. Plus, they’ll probably spend ten minutes "reading the line" of the bulb before they finally try to screw it in!